Member of the wasteland collective. Novice of Visionary representation.

"No one is really alone, trust me."
"I can see it in your eyes, an idea of what happened and of what could happen to you."
"It's noiseless but I hear it. It's numbing but I feel it. It's odorless but I smell it, it's invisible but I see it. It's nowhere and everywhere. Sometimes - maybe - I should follow its call. It could be a great adventure."
"Where am I? Never mind! Who am I? It doesn't matter. Who else is there? That's more interesting. What's going on here? That's what matters."

Feenja followed an inner (?) call and suddenly woke up in a strange environment. Confused at first, with no memories. But it didn't matter. Instinctively, she knew how to survive.

The young woman with the striking hair slowly remembered fragments of her former life. It didn't seem so much different from now. Many years of struggling and surviving in different landscapes and under various circumstances. Much without company, but also with someone around from time to time.

Feenja knows her way to survive and intends to help others to survive as well. Feenja is convinced everything else will show as soon as she follows her quest. And the lively impressions and tales of her experiences so far amaze many listeners.


{Feenja Blog Entry 014}

I can remember that day.
At least I thought I do.

Some things are missing, some things are too much.
Something tells me to change my perspective.

I thought something could be wrong here.
That is why I started to keep a diary, a long time ago.
For my memory, for my questions, for my experiences, for everything I've learned and discovered. For my soul.

I think I have to read it again.
I think I missed something...

{Feenja Blog Entry 013}


The river I found led me to another, and with it the place from my dream.

Apparently there were people here.
Not so long ago.
I'll take a good look at the area.

Suddenly I feel dizzy. 
Just a little. 
No. It's getting more and more, so strong that I have to sit down.

I feel presences. 
So many. 
Mostly good ones, I think. 

Everything goes black and then I see him again. 
This man who calls me all the time. 

I feel myself tilting back. When I can see again I am lying in the grass. The sun has moved a little and I know that I must got faint for some time. 

I quickly look around. 
No noticeable change all around. 

I was lucky.
That could have gone wrong.
I don't know this area well yet.
Who knows who or what's going on here. 

It's coming back to me. 
He sent me a message. 
He hears me and something else, but what was it? 
My memory's a bit fuzzy.

But right now I gotta get away from here. 
This place is creeping me out. 
I'll take a closer look around tomorrow and observe this place.

{Feenja Blog Entry 012}

At long last! 
Running water! 

I'm so happy I'm going to jump right in and get cleaned up. 
It feels so great! 
Cold, but great! 

Luckily I remembered in time that I have to be careful not to get the water in my mouth, nose or eyes. 

If it is unclean, it could cause a bad infection. 
And alone in the wilderness this would be devastating. 

Today the weather is quite nice and my clothes dry quickly. 
So I decide to follow the river. 

Maybe this is the river from my dream? 
Or it could lead me to it.

{Feenja Blog Entry 011}

I was startled by a dream last night. 

Although I fell asleep again and a few hours have passed since, the feelings and images still resonate. 
It was a feeling like "family", "love", "safety", "happiness". 
Something that I have not felt for a long time. 

Also, the connection with someone was strongly present. 
The same connectedness that I felt for the first time shortly after my awakening. 
It is part of the overpowering urge to stay alive for someone. 
But I still do not know for whom. 

In any case, I think I know through my dream that this person gave me my necklace. I saw the pendant clearly in my dream. I was wearing it around my neck. 

But there was still a fleeting image which actually cannot exist. 
In the dream I had also opened the pendant. 
It was something like a medallion with photos inside. 
But I couldn't make out a single face. 

nd now, when I am awake, I cannot open the pendant. 
No matter how many times I try, I can't get it open. 

How can that be?

{Feenja Blog Entry 009}

I have been in this strange environment for a few days now and have been able to secure my shelter even better, got oriented and have enough water and food. 

I already avoid the predator areas very well. 
After traces of supposedly a lynx, I have also discovered clues about wolves. 
Therefore I am all the more careful. 

Because I have found a safe and sufficiently free place for a fire, I can soon catch smaller animals and prepare them. 

But I still collect the material for the traps. 
The necessary hole is already dug. 

The discovered water was unfortunately a marshy little lake. 
I cannot do anything with it. 
I would not even eat a fish from it. 
It's too risky. 

But I also found parasitic-eaten tree trunks through which I get nutritious insects and other living creatures. 
The strange shelter I found is apparently already vacated. 
But it can't be long ago. 

I'm staying alert!

{Feenja Blog Entry 008}

Maybe it wasn't so good going right after all.

There are feathers scattered around and it looks like there were lynxes here. I've found tracks all around here.
I'd better stay away from this place if I don't want any trouble.

Oh! What?
They look deliberately put down.
With these sticks ...
I'm gonna see where I'm going with this.

They're getting clearer.
Looks like someone built a temporary bridge here. Is something built back there?

Shit! I better get out of here!

I'll keep an eye on it and stay at a safe distance.
I don't want to run into lynxes or humans.
I'd better go back to my hiding place and decide how to proceed.

It will be dark soon anyway.

from a safe distance

{Feenja Blog Entry 007}

A fork in the road.

It's getting day and I've slept for maybe three hours.
Nevertheless I am wide-awake.
Slowly the morning dew is coming.
I can collect and drink it easily.

Okay, then I'll have a look around again.

I crawled out of this block.
I don't know what this is all about.
Did someone kidnap me?
Is there something else going on?
Am I really alone?

Uh! Looks like there's water behind there.
Maybe a brook, a lake, or at least a pond?
That would be great!
I'll try to get there.

Shit! A fork in the road.
I've dreamed of two passages.
Which way should I go?

The (un)holy sky was scary on the left.
So I'll walk right.


{Feenja Blog Entry 006}

Not asleep. 

My night was long, my sleep much shorter. 
My sleeping place was not the problem. I had made it quite comfortable and well secured. Rather this "call", and the questions ... 

Where I am and how I came here, why I can hardly remember anything, this feeling that it is important to survive ... 

And this presence. Or presences. 
Since I've been able to relax a bit, I feel something more. 
But it's not so inviting, it's more oppressive, something negative ... 

It worries me a lot. And when I finally fell asleep I dreamed of an (un)holy sky, an almost dead tree between wonderfully healthy ones. And again of this place. But this time a figure appeared briefly. The inviting presence became so strong that I woke up from it and could not fall asleep again. 

My heart and my thoughts are racing! 
What does all this mean? 
Who was that man? 

Where was I then? Or where was he? 
What should I do? 
Should I follow the invitation? 

Where is this river? 
Why do I have such a strong urge to survive for someone? 
For whom?

{Feenja Blog Entry 005}


I did get out of that concrete block. 
But I find nothing but wilderness around me. 

I can't remember a thing. But I do know that the most important things now are water, food and shelter. Surprisingly easy to find. 

I found a pretty open place. 
With several trees, including birch and some wild herbs. Intuitively I knew what I could use and how. So now I have water and food. 

I have also found a deeply hidden overgrown and therefore safe place. Here I will put the seen dried out growths and create some sleeping comfort for myself. 

So far so good. 
Soon I will go to sleep. 
But this call from before my fall, it's still haunting me. 

Always this incomprehensible whisper, this feeling that someone is with me, that I should go somewhere ... 

As if I'm not confused enough already! 
Not sure if I should follow it. 
I'll think about it. 

{Feenja Blog Entry 004}


What's going on here? 
Where am I now? 
What the fuck, what happened? 

It looks like I'm in the inside from a little cell or a very little vault. 
I can hardly see anything. 

Where is the exit? 
I gotta get out of here! 
I have to get to that place I saw through the trees. 

Wait! What was that!? 
Something was on my neck. 
It fell down. 

Wow! It's a necklace. 
It looks familiar. 
I will take it with me. 

But now, I have to go. 
What the hell! How did I get here? 

I have to get away from here and get oriented.

{Feenja Blog Entry 003}

I knew it! 

My dream is spoiling. 
The beautiful magic roots are starting to rot. 

Change is paving it's way. 
A sign! 
The trees form a triangle.
If I look through it, it will show me the way. 

Here, this is where I have to go. 
I can feel it! 
I should find that river. 
Especially this section. 
I'm drawn to this place. 

I'm falling! 

{Feenja Blog Entry 002}

What's that? 

Such bright green, such colourful flowers. 
I am surprisingly happy here. 
But something is calling me and it's not the birds. 

Is there something behind it? 
No time to look into it. 
The call is getting louder! 
I will follow it. 

There is a dragonfly. 
Wow! The first animal I see since I've been here. 

A bridge? 
I have to be careful! 
It could be a bridge to another world. 

A gate now!? 
I want to stay here! 
I don't want to go further. 

But the call is too strong.

{Feenja Blog Entry 001}

Where am I? 

I can hear the birds. 
But I don't see any. 
Not a single one. 

Where are all the animals? 
Are there even people here? 
I think I'm absolutely alone. 

Maybe that's a good thing. 
I'll take a look around then I'II see.